Fort William & Glencoe...be still my beating heart

 

If you haven't heard of Glencoe, google the crap out of it now (especially the stuff about the massacre, actually here is the link cause I know you are lazy).  It's beautiful and epic and terrible.

We visited Glencoe back in 2007 on our bus tour during summer, and we've always wanted to see it again.  We decided to use Fort William as our base for a couple of nights (stayed in a pretty crummy hotel..should have stayed at the backbackers) while we visited our mountainous lover once again.

Fort William is a nice little fishing village..it's trying to be more than it is with it's growing range of pubs etc on the main street, but it's still a fairly isolated spot.  Beautiful surroundings though, if we ever win a massive fortune we would seriously look at creating a zombie fortress among the hills near Fort William.

We also saw lots of cool stuff on the way to Fort William from Aviemore, and also on the way down to Glencoe.  The highlands are seriously among the best places on earth.


Aviemore & the Cairngorm Mountains

 

Aviemore was our first stop after hiring our car from Aberdeen.  We trekked for hours and hours (read: perhaps 30 mins) with our packs on in Aberdeen to find the car hire place.  Exhausted, we signed our lives away then drove straight up the coast through Peterhead and stopped at Fraserburgh for lunch at the Lighthouse cafe (surprisingly, it was in a Lighthouse and had great views of the ocean).  The car park smelt like fish.

After supping on some rather pleasant soup we continued on down the countryside towards Aviemore, which we'd heard was a great little highland town.  Our accommodation was Glamping in an Eco-Pod, which turned out to be really cool!  Basically it was a B&B, but on the front lawn they had put up several little pods which were pretty flash - underfloor heating, ensuite with shower, radio with ipod doc, tv, bar fridge, tea & coffee, latex mattress.  Very comfortable and warm, and I couldn't stopped wondering 'Why doesn't Booloumba Creek have these?!"  I think I might have to write a letter to them when we get home.... 

Anyway, Aviemore was really beautiful. It was settled right in the middle of the snow-capped Cairngorm mountain range, and you could sit down to enjoy a coffee in town and admire the frosty giants surrounding you.  As everyone kept asking us "Have you been up to see the snow yet?" we started to think that maybe it's something we should do while we were there.  Isaac was thinking about getting a snowboarding lesson, however by the time we got there it was a little late and it also cost about $160.  

We drove up the mountain squealing in delight at all the snow (or maybe it was just me squealing, if Isaac was also squealing then I couldn't hear his squeals over mine).  Initially we were a little disappointing and put off by what we were met with once we arrived at the base of the mountain.  All I really wanted to do was find a big pile of fluffy snow to roll around in, and Isaac just wanted a friendly ski slope to wobble around on top of a snowboard without being laughed at.  However we were met with a serious looking slope covered in serious looking skiers who were all just coming down the mountain quite seriously and then going back up again.  Even the kids were skiing properly.  Not one snowman, no small children trying to eat snow, no one wobbling and falling off their snowboard.  We were thinking 'Um...where are all the people who can't ski?  Surely there has to be some???'.  I really wanted to just sit and play in the snow, but it seemed that would have been the equivalent of pulling out a box of lego at a boardroom meeting.

So before we embarrassed ourselves, we acted like we knew what we were doing and went into the cafe for a tea whilst we discussed our plan.  There was a funicular train that went up to the top of the mountain that a lot of people with their ski gear were using...we thought that there probably wasn't much at the top and they were just going up then coming straight back down, but we decided to get on the train and at least see some more snow to make the trip worthwhile.  Perhaps there was a clump of snow out of sight of the skiers that I could assemble into an army of minions.

When we bought our tickets (10 pounds each) the man told us that there was a restaurant, bar and shop up there.  The restaurant had a viewing platform which was covered (like 1+meters deep) in snow.  It was actually pretty windy and blizzard-y up there, no one was really going outside except for the hard core skiers.  The viewing platform is where we made our first snowman together!  His name was Frosty.  I miss him.

We also had a bit of a snowball fight, and just generally acted like 5 year olds.  It was heaps excellent.  And FYI, snow turns into water when you go back indoors.  Not the most convenient when you have to drive for several hours to get to the next town and you've had several hand fulls of snow mooshed through your jacket and beanie.


On the road again...

Goodbye Baltasound and your inebriating goodness.

With heavy hearts and complete nausea we find ourselves once again homeless after spending just over 2 months living, working, and drinking at the Baltasound Hotel on Unst.  In a lot of ways, working at the Baltasound has been perfect for us – Ize got the chance to use his web design skills to craft a new website for the hotel, and I got to use my love of writing and drawing to put together some promo material and logo designs.  I am super stoked that a logo that I created from scratch (admittedly Ize helped me with Adobe Illustrator) is going to be plastered onto the side of a building, t-shirts and mugs.  How cool is that!  I feel like I’m pretty much famous.  I’ll share pics of the logo once it’s gone into print so you can all congratulate me/send me gifts etc.  But it’s been pretty cool looking back over the pages of initial sketches to the full colour vector-based final version.  A new career perhaps?? A man can dream…

Not only have we got to do that fun stuff over the last few months, but we had the chance to see the other side of a hotel room, restaurant and bar – the view from the staff.  We've all drunk in bars and eaten in restaurants more times that we can count, and we have all sat there at one point or another and gone ‘Where the hell is the waitress/barman? Why haven’t they taken my order/returned with my drinks/cleared the table/poured my drink faster/processed my credit card faster etc etc etc, Why, if I worked in a bar/restaurant I’d make sure no one went hungry or thirsty!’.  It’s easy to throw stones when you are sitting on your fat butt eating and drinking, but when you stand on the other side of the bar it’s a whole different world.  I have also had the pleasure of cleaning up vomit (twice) in the bar toilets, cleaning and making up hotel rooms, scrubbing pots and pans literally for hours, serving food, and I even poured one beer really badly (we had to scoop several inches of foam out to make room for the other half of the beer). 

So in conclusion, if you have never worked in hospitality or in a service role, please be respectful, patient, and most of all - be kind to the staff serving you.  It’s the least you can do.

OH and the chef taught me how to poach an egg…sooo I’m like, basically a chef now.    

We left Shetland on Saturday via ferry, and this time we splurged and got a cabin as we somehow managed to have waaaaayy to many libations the night before (I swear I don’t know how this keeps happening) and the thought of not being able to sleep made us yak (again).  We are hiring a car for a week and will drive around the top of mainland Scotland and the highlands before we start our next Helpx on the Isle of Skye.  Our first stop is Aviemore in the highlands, where we sample a little ‘glamping’ in an ‘eco-pod’.  No, we have no idea what an eco-pod is…it was the cheapest bed they had.  We’ll let you know.  Then we will head down to Fort William and Glencoe..so keep your eyes peeled for some shit hot photos. 

Steve, Sharn, Amie, Kate and everyone else – thank you so much for everything!!  You guys are awesome & will be much-ly missed by these two homeless, lazy travellers.

Up Helly Aa

Up Helly Aa - the subarctic viking fire festival held in Shetland (there is actually about 4 of them held on the different islands in Shetland) where Vikings parade the streets with flaming torches with the goal of burning a longboat to the ground and get absolutely pished in the town halls until about 8am (or later) the following day.  There is even a public holiday the next day so no one has to bother about setting an alarm to call in sick.

We traveled down to Lerwick to see the festival that famously doesn't stop for the weather. Unfortunately, the inter-island ferries do.  So...we pretty much missed the whole thing.

We were forced to leave mid-afternoon else be stranded on the mainland overnight with no accommodation and no tickets to the drinking halls.  Seeing as it was literally 'blowadogoffhischain' weather, we decided not to seek shelter between two dumpsters for the night and catch one of the last ferries back at around 4pm.

However, our story has a happy ending!  Firstly, our buddy Kate got us a lift all the way back home with a tour guide (who is awesome).  So not only did we get a free guided tour of the islands on our way home, but she also sweet talked our way up onto the captains deck on one of the inter-island ferries.  It was totally like the bridge on Star Trek! 

AND that's not all.  Unst has it's own Up Helly Aa festival in February...and the weather was perfect, and our buddy Moray (Aussie lady we met at the haggis-eating festival) very kindly picked us up and took us to it.  It was great!  Not only was it a bonfire of epic proportions (the heat thrown out cooked our face-meat), but seeing as the crowds were a lot smaller we actually got to see everything and didn't have to find a vantage point for the night like the Lerwick festival.  In Lerwick you aren't allowed anywhere near the boat burning either, you have to view it from afar.  On Unst, you could wrap up potatoes in foil and throw them in if you wanted.

In a nutshell: Up Helly Aa =

Ingredients

1  Guizer Jarl / head viking (a dude who knows he will play this role from a wee boy, he takes on the persona of a particular viking for the day)

1  Jarl Squad / vikings (group of around 10-20 dudes dressed as Vikings who are the Guizer Jarls groupies/backup dancers) 

Several hundred randoms dressed as anything from robots, cowboys, or giant babies.

A very generous helping of flamboyant men dressed as women.

Enough flaming torches for each person.

Enough booze to get each torchbearer suitably messy.

 

Method

Combine torchbearers with booze until mixed through.  Be careful not to over stir at this point.  Allow the Jarls to visit local schools, parade the streets then have a fancy lunch whilst you treat yourself to a sherbet yourself.  Separate out each torchbearer onto a flat surface, and decorate with a torch.  Once the torchbearers have had time to rest, light each of the torches and get the fuck out of the kitchen.  The torchbearers (led by the Jarls) will then parade around trying not to set the person in front of them on fire, before surrounding a custom made longboat.  They will then file past and throw their torch into the boat.  At this point, it's all very chef-y with the fire and the loud 'WHOOOSH'ing.  Then it's customary to stand and watch until the dragon head and mast collapse on the boat.  Once the mast has collapsed, proceed to the hall for which you hold a ticket for.  Get mashed.  This recipe also works well if doubled or halved.  

We didn't attend the mashing in the halls, however we hear it's a massive night/morning of drinking, funny skits and performances. 

There is another Up Helly Aa on Yell (the island in-between us and Mainland) tomorrow.  I don't think we will go...however we will have access to a car tomorrow to drive around and actually see some of this rock that we've been living on for over a month.  

So tape those eyelids open people, photos are coming! 



Oot and aboot

The most amazing thing happened on Friday.  The sun came out and the wind stopped!!!! It completely shocked the pants off us.  We scrambled to seize the opportunity - after finding our shocked pants and putting them back on, we rushed out the door with a baggie of vegimite sandwiches and our hearts full of hope. 

We looked around in wonder, still barely able to contain ourselves.  We could actually see things and not have to hide our eyes behind our hands to protect them from eyeball seeking rain missiles!  Where should we go?  If only we had a map... so we went back to the hotel and grabbed a free tourist map.  

We started up the road and ran into a local out for a walk whom we had met at the Burns Night Supper; he was the husband of the welsh lady that I sat next to.  He is also the guy who designed the free tourist map that we had in our hands.  For those who think Brisbane is a small place, try Unst.  One of our poverty state schools has more students than the island has residents.  He told us to head up the hill to see the Keen of Hamar, so we did.

The Keen of Hamar is a nature reserve, and is home to several plants that grow no where else on earth.  Botanists love it, and from the top you can see the cliffs which are beautiful and full of Puffins in the breeding season.  It is also referred to as a lunar landscape or, less romantically, a big gravel car park.  It's rocky.  It's actually an exposed ocean crust called ophiolite, which is apparently quite rare and formed when the continents joined and pinched the ocean in between them, squeezing the ocean floor up and out like a big pimple. 

So we walked up the big rocky hill/ocean pimple, passing lots of sheep and climbing over fences.  It was pretty cool, until we spied oodles of dark clouds chasing us from behind.  They were moving faster than we were, so we had limited time to frolic around before we were going to get wet.  So frolic we did, taking as many pictures as possible knowing this could be the only time we get to be outside again for a long time.

Then we got rained on...and saw a rainbow.  Then it stopped raining.  We walked in the other direction to the post office and posted our postcards which we had been holding onto for the past 3 weeks.  Then we said hello to some little oinking piggies that just wanted some company.  We sat on some rocks and ate our sandwiches and watched the insanely clear, still water.  

Unst is really quite beautiful when it's not attacking you with a zombie-like fury.