“You should be a writer, you’re so funny!”
“Gosh, thank you! I’ll look into it”. An embarrassingly short google search reveals an absolute multi mega shit ton of really funny and talented writers with their own free blogs, tumbler, twitter, etc, and they all post content really frequently - like every 2 days frequently. And half of them even illustrate their own stuff with quirky, clever comics.
Wow, I do not have the time or talent for that. There are a bajillion people funnier and better at writing than me, and they are already well established with boat loads of followers.
“Um is anyone interested in paying me to write something funny for you to read? Anyone…oh you didn’t hear me because you’re balls deep in a really funny (and free) tumblr/blog/something post that you’re in the middle of sharing with all your friends? That’s ok, sorry to disturb you”.
End Scene
Later that week cause I’m’no quitter:
“Um hello I’d like a job please”
“Oh yes, experience?”
“Well sir I have my own blog that seems quite popular”
“Ok perfect. How many site visits per day?”
“Uh, well last weekend I got 12. Which maybe is a little inflated because I did my first blog post in about 3 months. I have a real problem with procrastination you see, and I really struggle to find something to write about that people might want to read”
“…..”
“….” tightening my sweating hands on the pen in front of me
“Who said you should be a writer?”
“Oh, everyone!”
“Which is….”
“My regulars… um..”
“How many people dear?”
“…3. And that doesn’t even include my Husband. He doesn’t say I should be a writer”
“Really?”
speaking really fast and high pitched “Oh, that came out all wrong - do you mind if we start the interview again - I’ll just go out and come back in, one sec”
…jiggle jiggle thump “Sir? The door is locked. Sir? I’m ready to start the interview again, I think the door accidentally locked itself somehow. Ha ha, how embarrassing. Could you unlock it please? … Hello?…… Um. Oh. Ohhh. I’ll see myself out”.
End Scene
Good thing I have my new self righteous reusable coffee mug to use on the way to my day job which I luckily didn’t leave to pursue my dream.
I know we are are our harshest critic, and especially when you’re doing something creative (writing, art, poetry, music, etc) you’re really putting yourself out there. Asking people to look deep inside you. And if they don’t like what they see, well it might just crush you.
holding the rib spreader myself “hey guys, check out my heart!”
distracted glance “mmm. I’ve seen better”.
ice fills chest cavity, tears freeze on face “no worries”
Now I also want to say from the depths of my frozen heart, thank you so much to the people who do tell me my writing is great, who comment or like my posts, I can’t tell you how much that means to me. My good friend (who is a writer) has given me some tips, which I’m going to follow. I may yet find someone willing to look at my heart one day and not vomit. Regardless, writing silly things here to make my one & a half fans smile will always be worth it. xo