I just can't believe that this still needs to be said. But after having my mum's dad adamant that the scientifically perfect way to make the best cup of tea is to get the tea out of the tea bag, put it in a strainer, rest it across the top of your mug and then just pour hot water over it - I can’t stay quiet. And because he heard it from someone on ABC radio it's an absolute fact and he will fight you if you disagree. I can’t blame him really, ABC is gospel for old people.
He told me that months ago. And I'm still so fucking angry. It’s unfathomable. I just can't.
So here it is people, nice and simple for those of you with short attention spans:
How to make a cup of tea
Tip out the water in your kettle. Put fresh water from the tap in there. Then boil.
DO THIS EVERY TIME YOU MAKE A TEA.
For the love of god, don't just fill up the kettle in the morning and keep pressing boil whenever you want another tea. Please. If you have any humanity, just don't. Why? Because it’s the oxygen in the water that infuses the tea. Boiling removes oxygen. Boil the shit out of it and there will be none left. Ever made a tea and you go to get the bag out and there is just some brown stuff pooled on the bottom of the cup and the rest of the water in the cup is clear? *shudder. That’s why.
Actually, I digress. If you are making tea with a tea bag that you got from the supermarket you can do whatever you want. Your tea will be as disgusting as you are no matter what you do. Those people can stop reading right here. Cya later. Get off my blog.
Get some real tea.
Go to the Tea Centre, or TLicious, or probably lots of other places online. T2 only if you're really desperate. It's better than Lipton, but only in the same way that having a breath mint is a replacement for doing your teeth.
The above real tea will come with instructions. Just follow them. That's it. Don't go thinking that you know best and vary the instructions. If it says brew for 4 minutes - do that. Only that.
If you want a weaker tea, use less tea. Brew for the same amount of time.
If you want a stronger tea, use more tea. Brew for the same amount of time.
There is a lot out there on tea making, but you aren't really interested. Just please, use the above simple guide and stop being a monster.
In closing - tea is about enjoyment and is very much an individual experience. Hence the phrase ‘not my cup of tea’. Make it however you enjoy it best :)
You monster.
(P.S. Herbal tea isn’t tea, as there are no tea leaves in it. It’s a Herbal infusion. Just putting that out there).
(P.P.S. Google ‘Fannings’ if you want to know why tea bag tea is crud. It’s basically the lower leaves on the plant plus a bunch of sticks and dirt, ground up into dust and auctioned off to Dilmah, Twinnings, Lipton, etc. Is there a word for the opposite of the ‘cream of the crop’? Oh yes, there is - Fannings).